Comedy Talk
by Kaity the journalist
Summary: Shayla Cavalli is a new citizen moving into town. She is about to become what she was back from her old town. Will she accomplish it or will she never make it?
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANYONE EXCEPT PYRAMID, SCAR, CHAMBER, KROKS, SHAYLA, AND HARRY. 12 OZ MOUSE AND THE ORIGINAL CAST BELONGS TO ADULT SWIM**

 _Prologue:_

It is a beautiful day in the town. A mouse just doing his job with his old pal, an eye saying eye puns, a woman who turns into a.. man? well, time usually goes fast.

A new citizen of the town just moved in by an apartment near Chamber and her group and near the job she is scheduled to work at. Her name? Well, it's Shayla. She moved from another town we don't know the name of. Spoiler: Chamber does work there too. Oh, Fitz too.

Shayla kept driving up to get familiar with the town and saw what Fitz and Skillet were doing, probably robbing banks for their drinks again. Fitz looked at her and asked, "Who is she?"

"Excuse me m'am you're not suppose to stop here." a woman who has blonde hair with green clothing kept annoying Shayla with that sentence as she stopped due to watching Fitz and Skillet rob a bank to get their drink costage situation handled. "I'm sorry m'am, I don't know this town too much!" She replied as she drove away. Shayla then drove by Chamber and started bringing her stuff out.

"Excuse me, do you need some help?" It was Chamber! She brought Scar with her. "We heard from Pyramid that you're moving in today!"

"A lot of help would be so appreciated! I don't know everyone here, but who are you guys?" She replied with a smile.

"My name is Chamber, and this is Scar!"

"What happened to you body?! Looks like a monster cut you!"

"Oh it's a long story" Scar said. "Unfortunately there's no hospital to treat me with that cut, but I tried not to get near sharp objects. It was a painful experience."

"Was is a sharp object?" Shayla asked.

"Uh, yes unfortunately." Scar said. "Shark, who is my boss, wanted Fitz, Skillet, Chamber, and I to work as a team to find something he was looking for and then Skillet accidentally cut me open. I nearly died, but at least i'm okay.."

"So, Shark, Fitz, and Skillet, eh? Never heard of them"

"Yeah, Fitz and Skillet always steal money for their alcohol."

"Ew, I hate alcohol.. I don't go drunk due to my body image! It'll kill me if I drank one.."

"I don't drink either" Chamber said. "It makes me nauseous."

"Scar, do you drink?"

"Nope, I used to. After Skillet cut me nearly open, I stopped."

"Oooff, if I did that, I would've smacked them. Well, I better unpack all of this now."

"Alright! We'll help out!" Chamber said as she and Scar held some of Shayla's furniture.

Two hours later, Shayla went to go grab more furniture and accidentally bumped into a lady in a bright purple skirt with a light purple shirt.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING??" She shouted.

"I'm so sorry m'am! I just needed to-"

"EW YOU'RE SO DISGUSTING. YOU ALMOST MADE OUT WITH ME. EW EW."

"I fell m'am, no need to shout in my face.. It was an accident.."

"YOU'RE DISGUSTING. MAN POWERS GO." She shouted as she turned into a man. Shayla then puked, and so did Scar and Chamber.

"GROSS, GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU FUCKING BITCH!" Shayla was terrified and ran off to Chamber and Scar.

"WHO THE HELL WAS THAT??"

"That's Man/Woman. She does this every time something is about to happen, like you moving in to town. She was probably curious" Scar said.

"WAS THAT BITCH BACK HERE AGAIN?" That was Kroks. "I will smack her so much if she doesn't stay away. I got a restraining order on her and EVERYTHING THATS WHATS GOOD"

"Don't you know that it's really rude to hit a girl?" Shayla asked in a weird tone.

"Yes, but except her." Kroks said. "By the way, who are you?"

"I'm Shayla. Shayla Cavalli. I'm from a town nobody has even heard of. Sure, it was hell of a ride, but like, it had no one left except for some citizens."

"Can we call you Shay?" Chamber asked.

"Of course! Everyone used to call me that all the time!"

"Awesome. Welcome to the town, Shay."

"Thanks guys. Can't wait to have such an amazing time here."

"Alright awesome! Well, we gotta keep helping Shay with moving in, she's fairly new here." Chamber said as she, Scar, and Kroks helped Shayla with moving.

As they continued to help her move in, Fitz and Skillet went to the bar and went in and drank for a bit.

"As usual please" Fitz said as the Rhoda gave him a drink. "Hey Skillet, do you know who that girl is? The gang looks like they love her already"

Skillet then makes a noise and jumps up and down.

"We gotta go talk to her, but first, lemme finish this drink." He then breaks the bottle after drinking and then they go find Shayla.

"Man, that WAS EXHAUSTING. Thank you guys." Shayla is pleased.

"If you ever need anything, you can always come to us!" Scar said. "We can do hang outs any time you want man!"

"Thanks for the offer, Scar. I really want to, but I just wanted to-"

"Who are you?" Fitz just yelled as he and Skillet came out from behind the rails of her apartment complex.

"Oh, fuck off Mouse" Kroks retorted. "Don't you know how to party yourself til you're sober?"

"Wait, does he drink?" Shayla asked.

"Yes he does. Him and Skillet usually do. So does Kroks but we wanted him to keep them out of our sight because it was a huge problem for us." Scar said.

"Who's Skillet again?"

"That rat looking thing by Fitz, who is the green mouse"

"Ah, okay." She remained calm. "Call me Shay."

"Wanna get wasted?" Fitz asked as he is currently drunk.

"I'm good. Thanks." Shayla said, as Fitz and Skillet left.

The next day, Chamber and Scar took Shayla to go get a job with them to Shark, the current boss.

"You can send her in" Shark said as Shayla sat face to face with him. "So, you're a new citizen?"

"Yup."

"It says here you worked at a business like mine? Interesting.."

"Yes. I don't work there anymore because I moved here."

"Well guess what?"

"What?"

"You're hired."

Shayla was excited and so was Chamber and Scar.

"DUDE I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU CONGRATULATIONS!!" They both got excited.

"Who are they?" She asked.

"Oh these people? That's Eye. He makes a lot of eye puns and he's really good at it." Scar said.

"Puns? I used to be a comedian while at my old town!"

"That's rectangular businessman. He doesn't have eyes, but he's like so boring to us"

"That's Pyramid, he's kinda like Rectangular Businessman, but he's a pyramid." Chamber explained.

"Nice so far. Who else?"

"Oh that's Harry. He's a rabbit, but he loves his job. Shark hired him and he works really fast."

"Are you talking shit about me again?" Harry said.

"Oh no, we're introducing Shayla over here to everyone." Scar said.

"Don't be talking shit about me, or i'll knock your ass out, you imperfect body looking ass" Harry returned to his workspace.

"He sounds rude.." Shayla got a bit awkward.

"Ah, don't worry, he's always like that." Chamber said. "He doesn't like it when we talk trash about him, which we were not."

"I know you guys weren't, but we can move right on!"

"Alrighty, you already know who Fitz and Skillet are. You also already know who Kroks is too."

"Awesome! What do we do?" Shayla asked.

"Well, today was your first observation, but I don't think Shark has anything for you since you're new"

"Shark got nothing for you apparently." Scar said.

After observation, the group left to get home, which Fitz? He went to the liquor store and went to Liquor.

"How can I help you?" Liquor looked at Fitz as he got the bottle.

"Same as usual"

"That'll be... uh... 300 dollars?"

"I'll tell you what?" Fitz drank it, and broke the glass bottle, and left without paying anything. Liquor then looks very awkward watching them leave his store.

"So Shay, i didn't know you were a comedian back in your old town!" Scar said as they walked to her apartment.

"Yep that's true!"

"Amazing.. We need to set you up on this place then. That's also a bar, but it can be used for comedy sketches."

"Hell yeah! Set me up there soon!" She shouted.

"Will do! Go get some rest Shay. Tomorrow will be amazing to hang out!" Chamber said as she and Scar went back home.

That day was the day Shayla got to be around almost everyone. She got hired by Shark, she met new friends, and even wanted to joke around as a comedian. She couldn't wait to come in full swing as she would become the next comedian ever.


	2. Chapter 1

**I know this will be different, but I will be putting this story to first person.**

 **Shayla's POV**

It's the next day. All set to hang out with Chamber and Scar. I started coming to the company I work for at my first day. I woke up to get set for my shift as I saw Chamber and Scar waiting for me so we can all go together.

"Hey!" That was Chamber. Scar is alongside her. We gave each other a hug. "How did you sleep?"

"I slept so well! I dreamt of being with you guys as pals." I said as I saw the woman who I met was annoying me about parking over here, but I really wasn't parking I was in traffic.

"Excuse me. You can't make out in public." She said as she proceeded to repeat herself until we were annoyed with her. Kroks came out and threw and sharp knife at her.

"Shut the fuck up man. Don't you know when to keep your mouth shut? Jeez..." After Kroks shut her up, she exploded. Kroks came up to me and said, "If this slut ever comes up to you again, you can always throw something at her and she'll explode."

"Kroks are you sure that will help?"

"Yes. Same with Man/Women, the dumbass I hate with a burning passion."

"Oh I hate her too. When she turned into a man, it made me puke and cuss her out."

"Yeah no, She will do something stupid soon I can sense it. When she kept stalking me, I filed a restraining order on her so she'll stop doing that."

"I mean, that woman is okay but she'll annoy you nonstop."

"Yeah she's okay but she'll be annoying."

"Alright, so where to for my shift?" I asked as we all took the bus to Shark's workplace.

"We can show you again." Scar said.

After the shifts, we ended up thinking of some ideas on what to do about me becoming a comedian. We came up with some good club venues to go to for open mics. We usually like to walk around and see what's there.

"Is this the bar that Fitz and Skillet go to a lot?" I asked.

"Oh yeah. I heard they do open mics all the time." Kroks said. "I seen Golden Joe do it all the time so you can ask him about it."

"Who's Golden Joe?" I asked. That name seems so familiar. I just can't seem to figure out where I heard it from.

"He's someone who helped Fitz and Skillet before. I'm sure he'll help you out to become a comedian." Kroks added.

"Oh it's where Rhoda works at." We were approaching towards the bar and we carefully went as we saw Fitz and Skillet there. Rhoda was staring at us, assuming that we're new.

"I think just one beer tonight, Rhoda." Kroks said as he gave the money to him as he chugged the beer and then he didn't drink the whole thing.

"What's the occasion, my dude? You brought your friends over tonight?"

"Nah, you see, my new friend was a comedian back at her hometown."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"We got Golden Joe who does comedy, we definitely do need another one."

"WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA. HELL NO. HELL. NO." Golden Joe appeared. "WHOS THE NEW COMEDIAN? GIMMIE ANSWERS."

"Oh shit, Heyyyyy, Joe." Kroks got shocked as he came.

"Is that him, Kroks?" I asked Kroks as Golden Joe came towards me.

"WHO ARE YOU?" Golden Joe yelled as I tried not to get his yelling into me.

"I'm Shayla, preferred to be called Shay."

"I'M JOE. GOLDEN JOE."

"I heard so much about you. I just love the way you do get the crowd to go wild for you." While I had a conversation, I saw man/woman get a drink and I immediately got disgusted so I puked up what I drank during my break since I didn't fully digest it.

"Everything alright, Shay?" Rhoda asked. "You want a drink or anything?"

"No I'm good. Thank you." I'm not a drinker. I only drink smoothies, lattes, and water.

"Oh dammit, it's that bitch again." Kroks gave her a dirty look as he was around me and the rest.

"What bitch? Oh yeah, that one that turns into a man." I went along with the joke Kroks said.

"THERE YOU GO, SHAY. YOU GETTING IT." Kroks was having so much fun joking around.

"THAT'S A GOOD ONE I GOTTA ADMIT." Golden Joe did too.

"Well, I'm not going to intervene. I am admitting that this is real funny there, Shay." Rhoda was floating right by the bar.

"Thank you guys." I said as Man/Woman confronted me.

"Excuse me? You don't talk shit when you want to." She yelled.

"At least I don't turn into a man whenever a guy flirts with me." I joked as the confrontation got really hilarious.

"EWWWWW IS THAT A SCRAP OF PAPER ON YOUR BACK?"

"…No? It's my tail sweetheart."

"I'm not your sweetheart, m'am."

"I wasn't calling you that, I was playing around."

"If you were playing around so much, why would you poke fun at me, you bitch?"

"Yeah, I am a bitch because I was born intentionally to correct women who turn into a man, has a retraining order against one of my friends for stalking, and does nothing but call people a bitch, like yourself." I winked as she gasped and everyone in the bar started "oooooooo"ing at both me and Man/Woman.

"OHHHHHH SHIT SHAY KILL EM." Golden Joe was cheering for me.

"You're such a bitch." Man/Woman was really offended that she started throwing punches at me.

"Oh you wanna play this game, then we will see how that goes." I threw that punch right back for self defense as everyone kept cheering for me. "You punch me in the stomach, I'll punch you right back." I replied as I punched her in the nose, giving her a bloody nose all over the floor.

"Damn, she's a fighter. What do you think, Skillet?" Fitz is watching me put Man/Woman in her place as Skillet made a noise and went up and down quickly.

A police officer who is shaped like a blue peanut comes over and he observes what happened and then asked Shay what happened.

"So, uh. That woman. She's got a bloody nose, and it must've made her really pissed." He was talking to me.

"This was all over shit talk." I was laughing as he proceeded to laugh too.

"No freaking way." He laughed as we both started laughing. "This is a joke."

"It's actually serious, but also funny. I can't believe I beat the shit out of her really badly for that. I'm done."

Peanut Cop was smoking marijuana as I continuously laugh hard nonstop. "Bro, I'm gonna let you slide this time. She must've got offended."

"Oh she has."

"Bro that was hilarious." Chamber was laughing hard.

"Wonder what her problem was, man." I said.

"You're good man." Peanut Cop left as Chamber, Scar, Kroks, Pyramid, and I all went back home.

"I gotta admit Shay, I didn't know you were a fighter. You beat her up so badly." Kroks was literally happy as heck I beat her up.

"Who was that guy?" I asked.

"Peanut Cop! He will joke around and he smokes so you're good." Scar said.

"I hope we continue this comedian thing. I was told by Rhoda that we would do the comedy sketches tomorrow night." I said. "You all have a good night."


End file.
